For years yoga has been the go to for all celebrity health addicts. Madonna swears by it and even Robert Downey Jr has been known to get his warrior pose on, but how can those of us without billions of dollars to spend on a personal trainer get more yoga into our lives? Well, you listen to me, your own personal yoga instructor! Keep reading for 10 quick,easy and fun yoga poses you can try out right now and with my help you’ll easily be as good at yoga as this guy!
1. The Binger
Sit in comfortable position, pick show, watch one episode, watch one more episode, decide to watch just one more episode before bed, watch 3 more episodes, never sleep again.
2. The Winer
Sit comfortably on pillow, cross legs, raise glass to lips, enjoy!
3. The Checker
Stand up straight, hold breath, raise hand to pocket, raise hand to other pocket, raise hand to other other pocket, locate phone, breathe sigh of relief.
4. The Burner
Raise up your left hand with lighter in it, raise up your right hand with an overdue bill in it, take a deep breath, slowly move left hand to right hand, burn the bill, forget bill ever existed.
5. The Lie Down
Lie down. Enjoy.
6. The Tinder
Sit comfortably, raise phone in right hand, open dating app, use left hand to swipe left, swipe left, swipe left, consider swiping right, swipe left.
7. The Maid
Pick up mess, organise mess back into proper place, repeat for 30 minutes, spend 5 minutes watching husband/kids/pets create more mess than there was originally, follow immediately with The Winer position.
8. The Diet
Place cake on table, raise knife, cut small slice of cake, move small slice to plate, eat remainder of cake.
9. The Snoozer
Lie down, listen to sound of alarm clock, raise hand and hit snooze button, sleep for 5 more minutes, repeat until late for work.
10. The Jeans
Place jeans around ankles, slowly bend down and raise jeans as high as possible, take deep breath and hold, raise jeans a little higher, lie down, raise jeans a little higher, hold breath, raise jeans a little higher, attempt to fasten jeans, decide to wear leggings instead.
How do you feel now? Relaxed? Confused? A bit sleepy? Well from what I’ve heard, that’s how yoga’s supposed to make you feel, so well done! Now remember, I am not a professional so don’t blame me if you lose your job for over practicing The Snoozer! Now drop and give me ten Lie Downs!